Lydia on Leadership

Leadership Grace

This morning I awoke with the word Grace on my lips literally and on my mind. My home is currently undergoing some minor renovations which creates quite a bit of disorganization. I have a family member who is moving out and getting her own apartment and a dog that still requires significant training and on the best of days is still a challenge. The only word that could give me any sense of relief was the word Grace.

Grace reminded me of a former CEO that I had a long term relationship with. Over the years he showed me what grace looked like. For example when he hired a new leader and district manager he showed grace in how he helped to grow and develop this district manager to be this company's current very successful president. Tangible actions that to me spoke of this CEO's grace was how he offered feedback to support his growth, stood beside him when he made mistakes, trusting him fully, showing in every way that he was confident and had faith that this individual would become the next leader of the organization. It is this trust and faith that allowed this district manager to rise up to be an outstanding president of a very profitable organization. In another situation, when this CEO was confronted with a long time valued senior employee's theft of merchandise from the company he with grace sat down with him to understand the reasons why he would do such a thing after a successful and long term career with the company. He was open to understanding even under such difficult circumstances. It was the grace of acknowledging this employee's humanity and the grace of understanding that we have the capacity of good and less than good actions. The situation was handled with dignity, respect and with grace as he thanked this individual for his years of service before he left the company.

3 ways to hold Grace as part of your leadership: 1. Identify what could be the potential and new possibilities or opportunities rising out of the situation at hand. 2. Challenge yourself to really consider perspectives different than your own and be willing to act on new information. 3. Connect to your calm higher self to find the grace inside of you.

3 morals of the story: 1. Greater understanding of others can be accomplished in the place of grace. 2. Context and a bigger picture perspective of the situation can help the expression of grace in your leadership. 3. Sometimes situations are totally out of your control and grace helps to heal yourself and others.

Lust for Life Can Produce Real Visionary Change

Someone said that "only a crisis -- actual or perceived  -- produces real change." In the name of all you hold holy, I ask you to prove him wrong. Show yourself and everyone who looks to you for inspiration that real change can be motivated by an exuberant lust for life -- by a generous longing to risk adventures that will yield greater rewards. (Brezney)

In my last few blogs I've been talking about how changes has often happened in my life as a result of outside circumstances that I really had no control over. It really is a difficult way to make change and as an ongoing strategy we avoid change because we have no control on how circumstances may evolve. Sometimes change happens in a whole different way. Today I would like to claim change as an affirmation of what you most care about in your life. Like anyone I'm full of ideas of what I would like my life to be and every once in a while my desires, my energy and the universe work beautifully together to move me into what I most want for myself. Today would be an example of that. When intentional change is about to happen in my life I usually follow what I loosely call intuition. Today I ended up taking a road trip as a result of a conversation with a student and current colleague who mentioned that she had done some energetic work with Lynn in Stratford. What appealed to me most was that my colleague who is doing so remarkably well in her business and an overnight success claims this energetic work is what opened her up to what has happened to her. That was enough for me to give Lynn a call to schedule a session without knowing but trusting totally that this was the right thing, and it was.

Morals of the story: 1. Life changes for us when we have a whole new vision for what will give us joy and passion in our life. 2. Keep asking yourself what is it that I really really want. That becomes the basis of transformative change in your life. 3. You are energy with tremendous potential and limitless possibility. know that you are the creator of everything that happens in your life. Why not be inspired by the joys, passions and desires that will grow you and evolve you to the next level of who you are.

Why is Change so Difficult?

Changing behaviour is probably one of the biggest challenges for a business and individuals in the world today. As Alan Deutschman in the article Change or Die says: "It's not strategy, structure, culture or systems. The core of the matter is always about changing the behaviour of people." So, how do we change behaviour? Crisis and sometimes failure can be a powerful motivator of change. On a personal note, I notice many key changes in my life have emerged from very difficult situations: deaths, illness, and changes in relationships. These difficult times can be a powerful source for positive change. Often in these times change can become instantanesous and sustainable and a source of personal growth. We begin to realize what we most want and care about and what is most important in our lives and work.

What are three key strategies to behaviour change? 1. Radical change: "Research shows that this idea applies to the business realm as well. Bain & Co. the management consultant firm, studied 21 recent corporate transformations and found that most were 'substantially completed' in only two years or less while none took more than three years." (Change or Die, Alan Deutschman) 2. Change happens when we speak to people's feelings. "Find ways to help others see problems and solutions in ways that influence emotions not just thought." (Kotter).  Can you think of a time when you were at your absolute best and you had the world by its tail and nothing could stop you from achieving what you most want. 3. Re-framing a change. Inspire a new vision. For example losing weight is not about eating salads as much as it is about having confidence, attracting new relationships, participating in hobbies and activities that you never though possible.

Three morals of the story (plus one more because change is difficult): 1. Be clear on what you want and why you want it. 2. Trust your own inner guidance to tell you how you best can make the change you want for yourself. 3. Expect obstacles and loss of motivation. 4. Be kind and gentle. You have unseen supporters around you who will help you though to what you most want. Gather your best supporters, models and people that give you strength to hold you through the change process.

Change is a Personal Journey

Today I am getting ready to go to England to license a leadership program. I'm surprised at myself because the way this came about was as a result of a personal disappointment. I always think of myself as the initiator, which I am but what I realize is that the most significant changes in my life have been radical changes. Starting my own business was as a result of a death of a CEO that I worked with for many years. Change in my lifestyle, my look, came as a result of physical illness. What I'm more aware of is my change process and how much I enjoy change but how difficult it is to follow through and make those changes real. I've done the exercise of writing my name many times with my right hand and then writing my name as many times as possible with my left hand. Of course my performance with my left hand was much less, feeling awkward and slow and I wanted to give up. That's what change feels like and that's why we often resist it.

My imagination takes me to a whole different place, so making changes involves making some choices on how we think. As a result of a big change that was imposed on me I stepped into my imagination and intuition and I am now flying to England tomorrow. I believe this program will help leaders see the world from a place of vision and possibility which can empower and create transformative change in a whole new, more natural way.

The three morals of the story: 1. If you really want to change look at your past, learn from the times you made a big change, figure out the strategies and employ them right away. 2. Our brains like things the way they are. Practice deliberate new learning as a way to increase your ability to change. Learn a new language. 3. Be true to yourself, one of the best ways to make positive change in your life is by telling yourself what's real and what's true for you.

Change is about Making Choices

This was a week where I allowed change to be imposed on me. My basement flooded, my carpets were ruined, plumbing backed up and two toilets stopped functioning. Talk about being surrounded by change.  On top of that I made some of my own change which resulted in a misunderstanding with a valued business colleague. None of these changes were changes I wanted to have happen and yet I'm surprised at how hard it is for me to make change and so I allowed it to happen to me. Being in the change business I ask my clients to make changes to improve their business, improve their relationships and have a better life. What I also know is that we all approach change differently and we are always at choice to make those changes rather than wait for them to happen. I have been guilty lately of waiting for the changes to happen and I let go of my own power to initiate and make choices that are right for me. I put myself in the place of responder rather than in the place of being a leader. I gave away my own ability to choose and lead through a change.  What I should have done was talked about my feelings and thoughts as soon as they became true for me. The morals of the story are 1. Always tell the truth as soon as you know it. 2. Know what you want and make the changes to get you there. 3. Don't give away your power to choose what's right for you.             

Giving Back In Business

With today’s new trend of “giving back” or “going green,” the companies who are making the biggest impact are the ones who are doing more than just making products or money.  It has become increasingly important for consumers to know that the companies they are investing in are making a positive difference in the world. 

Paul Brainerd, founder of The Brainerd Foundation, realized that this new generation of philanthropists was not satisfied with merely signing checks for charity.  He started Social Venture Partners to help people who are unsure on how to get started giving back in a more personal way. 

Below Brainerd shares everything he’s learned about giving back in business. 

·         Start now. Focus your energy on things you care about. Learn how to leverage your passion and creativity.

·         Grow the grass roots. The people with new ideas are at the grassroots level. They're also the ones who need the most help. Large national organizations like the Sierra Club tend to get most of the support. But the real battles are waged by people who want to make a difference in their own backyards.

·         Think like a venture capitalist. Invite proposals from groups, meet with them, and then pick groups to form partnerships with. Your expertise can help them create a plan of action something like a business plan to refine their strategy. The problems that come with giving back can be just as challenging as business problems. And solving them can be much more satisfying.

Imbalance is the New Balance

It may be that you really had a day, even a week, which defied sanity. You may have faced an impossible loss of a long term relationship at work, you faced the day with a cold, your day also began with a new colleague, you may have children you have driven to school and are waiting for a delivery at home and have been told they have a three hour window. You are exhausted. And your challenged to meet all your deadlines and read all your emails by PM. Are you wondering what you are doing wrong? The truth is we all want to have balance in our lives. And the truth is, it is so incredibly difficult. In Fast Company's article "Balance is Bunk" Hammond writes "The balance movement is fatally flawed." To keep up you have to work harder and if you cut back you may not be challenged or happy. There is a better way.

As Sigmund Freud once said "Imbalance is part of our human condition." Why not embrace imbalance as a norm for human beings? Let's admit to ourselves if you do want something done well and it will involve your full focus and full investment, sometimes it means you have to let go of other things to achieve that goal. the smarter way is to think of sanity for the long term. 1. Be clear on your goals. 2. Remember that you design your life, and make sure it includes more than work or school. We are complex beings with friends, family, and hobbies and they should all have a space in a way that makes you happy. Design your life to suit you. 3. Within each part of your life, do the activity that is your strength and that you love to do. For example in my own family I tend to be the problem solver, especially in a crisis, and I love to do it. 4. Remember that your work and life change regularly and to re-design and re-evaluate every three months or so.

Giving Back

Many of us are extremely fortunate in our lives with much to be grateful for, yet we are still searching for meaning and fulfillment.  In my past blogs, I have written about personal happiness and how to achieve it within ourselves, but what about developing happiness for those around us? 

 

The words “Give Back” are everywhere in today’s society.  The hit television show American Idol holds a massive event called “Idol Gives Back” every year and Oprah Winfrey, the country’s wealthiest woman, produced a show she called “Oprah’s Big Give.”  Kids are now graduating from University and taking the time to volunteer in third world countries or start a non-profit organization.  Best-seller books are the ones that tell stories of doing something good for others.  The idea of “giving back” is being practiced and consumed everywhere. 

 

So why has it become so important for us to “give back”?  The world is suffering, and not just in terms of the people who are starving or living in a war zone.  The wildlife, the nature, and the atmosphere are all also suffering because of what we, the human population, have done to it.  This isn’t a new crisis that has suddenly hit us.  Suffering has been occurring for many decades.  Why has “giving back” become such a new trend in North America?  Is it because the media brings us more images of people suffering around the world than ever before?  Is it because scientists have finally figured out a way to explain to everyone what exactly we’ve been doing to our planet?  Does it even matter, as long as it is finally being done?      

For me, the desire to give back can only come when you have reached a certain stage in your self-growth.  Once you have learned who you are and have come to appreciate everything you have around you, you can begin to see how lucky you are and how many things there are that you can do to help out in this world.  Everything we do has an effect on the outer world.  Stabilize your inner world so you have the power to put positive energy back into the universe.  “Giving back,” or giving a part of yourself to a worthy cause will create a sense of purpose, a sense of fulfillment, and finally a sense of happiness. 

Leading with Intuition

Today is July 7th, 2008. I have been talking about the heart as a leader and leading with your heart. I am following my own advice. This past weekend, my heart felt a bit lost and the horizon looked a little narrow as far as what might be possible in the future. You have all heard the saying " you can't get to where you are going doing what you have always done in the past." I heard myself saying this and realized it was true. I connected back into a place I had forgotten for two years and that is my energy and where it wants to take me. I called my old friend Soleira Green, and told her how flat my heart felt, how I could keep doing what I was doing and be successful. But somehow that was just not enough. She asked me whether to consider the larger context of why I was doing what I was doing and reminded me that I was a visionary leader playing a really small game which was focused on my next client and my next business opportunity. My heart told me that she was right, that was just not enough. When I feel fulfilled it is always for a larger cause, a bigger reason, being part of something that is important to the world. When I am feeling fulfilled I make a difference for not only myself, but for a future that few of us can understand or see, but somehow I know that we are following the right direction. A friend of mine lent me Practical Intuition by Laura Day, it asks only one simple thing: what are the three questions that you want to have answered in your life. And through simple exercises it became very clear to me that my intuition was alive and well. During the course of this work I realize whether it's intuition or my heart it is the key essence that helps me in all of my decision making. It is a feeling, an instinct, a sense of something that tells you to go in a certain direction. It told me that my work is about leading with a difference and helping other leaders understand the unique brand of their own leadership and how important it is to have their voices out there. Coincidently prior to listening to my heart I contracted a case of laryngitis, lost my voice until I remembered who was my leader. Three morals of the story: 1. Trust your energy to tell you what you really care about. 2. Trust your gut and intuition to guide you to your next step. 3. Don't let the outside world dim the sound of your own voice. You know what it sounds like, be open to it, trust it and speak it.

Leading From The Heart

Here are five practical questions to ask yourself.  They will help connect you to your heart.

1. Think of a moment in time where you were fully engaged and fulfilled.  Re-live it.  Why was it such a peak time for you?
2. What was it that allowed this “peak moment” in your life?
3. What did it take to be true to your heart and to live and make choices from this place?
4. If you were to engage in this way again, what do you believe would be different from your current life experience?
5. What would open up and what new choices would be available to you today if you allowed your “heart” back into your life?